Musical Chairs: A Solo Ager's Story
In December 1970, I celebrated Christmas with my family, unaware of the loss that lay ahead. After losing my brother, parents, and husband, I now face the holidays alone as a "solo ager." While I enjoy holiday gatherings, returning to an empty home can feel like being the last one chosen in a game of Musical Chairs, isolated in my grief.
End-of-Life Planning: Lessons from the Mama Surfers
I've been reflecting on the Mama Surfers and their inspiring journey through end-of-life preparation. Over ten sessions, these women learned to tackle serious topics together, using tools like the At Peace Tool Kit. They found strength in community and are now more comfortable discussing end-of-life plans with their families.
Meet the Mama Surfers: A Story of Support
Last year, Karen celebrated her 55th birthday and sent her youngest child off to college. Determined not to let time slip away, she created a list called "65 B4 65." Before diving into her adventures, she realized she needed to tackle end-of-life preparation with friends. Together, they became the Mama Surfers to support each other.
Make a Will, Make a Difference
August is National Make-a-Will month, a perfect reminder to create or update your will. Despite knowing how important it is, many fail to discuss their end-of-life wishes. I’ll share a powerful story from 15 women who took action. Let’s make sure our loved ones are cared for when the time comes.
Believing a Griever: A Poem
Losing someone they love is heartbreaking and often feels like an endless struggle. Just because they may seem okay doesn’t mean they are. Grief doesn’t follow a timeline, and it’s important to understand that they will never be the same person they were before their loss. Please believe them and be there for them.
Grief Deserves Validation Without Comparison
In my journey through loss, I've learned about “internal comparative suffering.” It’s a way I cope, comparing past grief to present challenges. This method helps me find perspective, but I’ve realized that it’s crucial not to impose my comparisons on others. Everyone’s pain is personal and unique.
What Not To Say When Someone is Grieving
As I continue to explore why we often say the wrong things to someone who's grieving, I've realized we're conditioned to listen just to respond. In a world obsessed with positivity, we struggle to address real sadness. I’ll share insights on better ways to communicate grief in future posts.
On a Scale of 0-10: Grieving Deeply
Have you ever been asked to rate your pain on a scale of 0-10? I’ve realized that we can apply this same idea to our emotional pain and grief. Every person's experience is different, and understanding that is key. Let’s talk about how recognizing this can help us support each other through our losses.
File Under "Stupid Stuff People Say"
At a recent charity luncheon, a well-meaning comment left me questioning the notion of “living the dream.” After sharing my journey through grief, I realized the importance of understanding how words can impact those navigating loss. Join me as I reflect on the complexities of grief and the often misunderstood phrases that people offer in support.
Why Personal Stories Matter in Caregiving
My book, "Care Boss," reveals how personal stories can transform the leadership approach to caregiving. Initially expected to be purely logical, it became a heartfelt collection that resonates deeply with caregivers. With its positive acclaim, this guide encourages support and growth within the caregiving community.
Big Reveal #2: A Second Edition!
I’m excited to announce the second edition of The Hospice Doctor’s Widow! It features a new subtitle, added journal entries on grief, and a beautiful forward by Elizabeth Coplan. You can buy it from local bookstores or online. If you love the first edition, please consider leaving a review!
BIG News! New Book for Caregivers
I’ve been quiet for a while, but I'm excited to share some big news! I'm releasing my new book, Care Boss, to empower family caregivers. This easy read offers vital leadership strategies to help you care for your loved ones during their final journey. Get ready for more updates!
Navigating the Shift: Life-Sustaining Care to Hospice
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the emotional shift caregivers face when their loved ones enter hospice care. This phase is about providing comfort, making the most of precious time, and finding the right hospice organization to support us. It’s important to know we don’t have to go with the first option given to us.
Don't Overspend on Funeral Arrangements
As spring arrives, I reflect on my father's passing and the challenges of arranging his cremation. After discovering significant price variations, I learned the importance of pre-planning and using resources like Funeralocity. Proper planning can ease the burden during difficult times and save money.
For The Love of Text Messaging
One thing that frustrates me in caregiving is when people suggest, “There’s got to be a better way.” Instead of judging, let's offer support. I recently found SupportNow.org, which combines resources to help caregivers, grievers, and friends in need. It's truly a game-changer!
A Better Way to Support Family Caregivers
One thing that frustrates me in caregiving is when people suggest, “There’s got to be a better way.” Instead of judging, let's offer support. I recently found SupportNow.org, which combines resources to help caregivers, grievers, and friends in need. It's truly a game-changer!
From LA to NYC: Advocate Adventures
I’ve been busy traveling, speaking, and learning about end-of-life preparation and caregiver support. I recently launched a free download called A Griever’s Guide to the Major Days, which has gained a lot of interest. If you find it helpful, please share it with others who may need support.
Behind the Scenes + A New Free Guide for Professionals
It's been a busy time for me as I reflected on my brother's anniversary and spoke at the National Hospice and Palliative Care Conference. I emphasized the need to recognize family caregivers and launched a guide to help healthcare professionals communicate about end-of-life care. Please check it out!
Single Days & Seasons: Reflections on Grief Anniversaries
In 1983, I received life-changing news while in college. My youngest brother, David, was in a coma after an accident. As I mark 40 years since his passing, I reflect on how his loss shaped me and how I cope with memories of my loved ones. Join me as I share my journey of grief and remembrance.
Finding Peace in a Small Town Cemetery
This summer in Santa Fe has been a beautiful escape for me after losing my family. I reconnected with friends, took some watercolor classes, and finally visited my brother's grave after many years. It was a touching moment that reminded me of the love and memories we share.