Rediscovering Family Ties in Santa Fe
Greetings from Santa Fe! I escaped the heat of Arkansas and found myself reconnecting with family memories here. It's amazing to walk through familiar places and feel my parents and loved ones close to me. Santa Fe truly is "The City Different," and this journey has brought me comfort and joy.
Navigating grief, growth, and 40-year high school reunions
It’s been a while since I wrote, and 2023 is a year of memories for me. This marks 40 years since I graduated high school and also since I lost my brother, David. Reflecting on these significant anniversaries brings up emotions and memories that still shape my life today.
Arts & Letters Radio for HDW's 3rd Anniversary
I can’t believe it’s been three years since the launch of The Hospice Doctor’s Widow: A Journal. To celebrate, I’m thrilled to share my first interview about the book on Arts & Letters Radio. It features my late husband Bob’s voice, reminding us to cherish memories in the midst of grief.
Soaring Spirits for Widow Support
I'm excited to share that I've joined the Board of Directors at Soaring Spirits International, an organization that supports all widowed people, including men and LGBTQ individuals. They offer helpful resources like a free Newly Widowed Packet and virtual meetups to connect with others facing similar losses.
So about that hospice article in the New Yorker...
This holiday season, I couldn't stay quiet about the misleading article from ProPublica and The New Yorker. Instead of highlighting the real work of over 6,000 hospices, it focused on sensational fraud cases. Hospice care is essential, and we need to understand its complexities, not just sensationalize scandals.
5 Things I Would Never Do: The Griever’s Edition
I never thought I'd be a micro-influencer on death, but here I am. My recent Twitter post caught people’s attention, sparking conversations about grief that we often avoid. It’s crucial to support friends through loss, offering understanding, presence, and patience, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Balancing Hope and Preparation...
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but it’s also time to shed light on Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer (MBC). This terminal diagnosis affects many people, including those I’ve met in my journey. It’s vital we support research and the Metavivors who strive to live fully despite their challenges.
How I transitioned from long-distance caregiver to griever...
Six weeks ago, I transitioned from being a long-distance caregiver to my father to becoming a griever after his passing. I faced unique challenges, from dealing with estrangement to navigating the chaos of his unpreparedness for death. Reflecting on this journey, I understand the importance of planning and communication in caregiving.
I want to share a new habit that has been helping me...
For a long time, I’ve worked on being kinder to myself. Recently, I started a practice of reflecting each evening on what I’m proud of achieving, no matter how small. Writing this list helps me shift my mindset from self-criticism to self-appreciation, especially during tough evenings.
Someone is “Expecting”…
About 33 years ago, I started teaching doctors about practice management and developed the first Procedure and Diagnosis Coding course for the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Fast forward to my recent reflections on life’s beginnings and endings. I wrote a poem, “Expecting,” published in Intima: Journal of Narrative Medicine.
Precious Time
I recently created a simpler black-and-white version of the art representing "Precious Time," a phrase Bob used to describe moments before death. This time is crucial for saying what matters most, avoiding regrets, and ensuring we support one another through our grief. My own memories remind me of its significance.
Authentic, inclusive, creative, joy, tears & learning - just for you
I missed my March update, but it's been a wonderfully busy time! Our Caregiver As CEO campaign was a huge success, and I'm already planning our next steps. I’ve also been speaking to groups about family caregiving, sharing insights that really resonate. It’s amazing to open up these important conversations!
I've got a new series coming!
In my 35 years in healthcare, I've learned that caregiving can be as demanding as being a CEO. After meeting Lucinda Koza from i-Ally, I was inspired by her advice to young family caregivers: think like a CEO! Join me for my upcoming series, "Caregiver As CEO," where I'll explore helpful strategies for caregivers.
A Year of Reading Dangerously
I'm thrilled to kick off the year with an amazing opportunity! Renowned hospice physician, Dr. Karen Wyatt, started EOL University, which includes a worldwide reading group called A Year of Reading Dangerously. Join me in exploring powerful books about end-of-life and grief that can enrich our understanding and provide comfort.
It's National Caregivers Month
As November brings earlier nights and a sense of darkness, I can’t help but reflect on how this season affects us all, especially family caregivers. With each shorter day, the weight of melancholia can feel heavier. Let's remember to support caregivers during this tough time, especially in the spirit of Thanksgiving.
Which costume do you like better?
Autumn brings a whirlwind of emotions for me. With my birthday, my brother David’s accident anniversary, and Bob's birthday all around this time, it's an emotional challenge. This year, a flooded laundry room could have sent me spiraling, but thanks to my proactive downsizing, I managed it with ease.
New York, New Art, Same Aunt Jen
After losing my brother David, I grieved the relationship we'd never have and the chance to be an aunt. But through my friendships, I've embraced a new role as Aunt Jen. None of my "nieces" are blood-related, yet they mean the world to me, reminding me that family can be chosen.
Deconstructing the saying "time heals"
Losing my brother David in 1983 was a profound loss that changed my life. I always thought “time heals,” but I've learned that grief doesn’t disappear. It evolves. My love and memories of David remain, a constant in a world that keeps moving. Grieving is a testament to love, not a sign of weakness.
The most wonderful feedback to receive
When I decided to publish my art journal during one of the saddest times of my life, I never expected it would win multiple awards! It's been scary to share my story, but receiving such positive feedback reminds me that my experiences can help others. I'm excited to see how it's making a difference in people's lives.
A recent trip inspired something special
As I re-enter the world after so long, my recent trip to Chicago reminded me of the importance of connection. I met new friends I’d made online, caught up with established friends I'd missed, and even reunited with long-lost friends from my childhood. It was an unforgettable experience of joy and reflection.