Don't Overspend on Funeral Arrangements

Spring has sprung, and if you are reading this and in the northern hemisphere, we did it! We made it through another winter.

You may recall that in July 2022, after years of being his long-distance caregiver, my father died of severe heart and lung disease following a hip fracture. My dad had been living in northern New Mexico, where I grew up, and died in a hospital in the capital city of Santa Fe. My father and I had discussed his wishes for the disposition of his remains. He wanted to be cremated and spread over my brother’s grave.

So when he died, I needed to find a direct cremation resource. As often happens with at-need disposition and funeral purchases, I asked a friend in the community, and she recommended a funeral home that their family had used for generations. Before I called that funeral home, I knew to look up what the cost for a direct cremation should be in Santa Fe, New Mexico, using Funeralocity. I pulled up the website, put in the zip code, and learned that the direct cremation services should cost about $1500 in that area.

Next, I called the funeral home that my friend’s family had used for decades. When I asked about the pricing of a cremation only, the director told me their price was $3200.

I said, “Oh, well, that’s twice what Funeralocity says it should be in the area.”

He responded, “What’s Funeralocity?”

I said, “It’s a consumer advocacy website where you can look up average funeral and cremation prices by zip code. You might want to check it out.”

Instead of acknowledging that this resource was new to him, he said . . . in a condescending tone . . . wait for it . . .

“Well now, (he might as well have inserted “little lady”) you don’t want to skimp on your loved one.”

To which I responded, “Goodbye,” and hung up. I called a second funeral home that had a similarly high price. My third call yielded a price of $1500, exactly what Funeralocity said it should be. Their service was professional and compassionate. Five stars, highly recommend.

My first recommendation is to pre-plan and pre-pay for the disposition of your remains, and then be sure that information is available to your surviving loved ones. As part of that process, you may want to check out Funeralocity. If you are handling the disposition of someone's remains who has not preplanned and prepaid, you definitely want to check it out.

According to the 2024 Cost of Dying survey results by Empathy, the average funeral in the US costs $5666, with the costs of everything that had to be handled following a loved one’s death averaging a total of $12,616.

I can tell you from experience that planning and preparation will bring these costs down. Moreover, planning and preparation are beautiful, loving, intimate gifts that will ultimately allow you to live more fully and freely. None of us wants to skimp on our loved ones, but we don’t want to overpay or be upsold amid our acute grief.