I want to share a new habit that has been helping me...

Many months ago, I shared with you a personal goal of mine. I described working on making the inner monologue I direct toward myself as kind as the one I offer to others. I think I wrote something like, “I would just never talk to anyone the way I talk to myself.” Well, that work continues. I have improved and I continue to strive for progress.

On a recent trip, I found myself reflecting each evening on things that had gone particularly well during that day, which led me to a new practice. Each evening, I write the date and the statement, “Today I am proud of myself for:” and then I list three to five accomplishments regardless of how seemingly small or light. For me, evening can bring a brutal combination of darkness and fatigue that sometimes gets me down on myself. This new practice of writing only what I am proud of myself for, really turns that around.

Looking back on the day is in keeping with something I journaled in the months following Bob’s death, which became page 71 (below) of my book The Hospice Doctor’s Widow: A Journal.

The recently bereaved or traumatized might write:

Today I am proud of myself for:

✓ Getting out of bed.

✓ Taking a shower.

✓ Asking for help.

I also find that throughout the day, I think to myself, “I am eager to put this on my Proud list tonight,” which only builds on the positive change this practice represents for me. If you struggle with self-criticism like I do, I encourage you to try this type of nightly list.