So apparently I have mortality salience…

The thing about having recently turned 60 is that I can say unequivocally that I am in the final season of my life—winter. Yes, 60 is “still young,” as most of you are saying to your screen right now, questioning my thesis statement. Still, it is undeniably the final season.

With the average life expectancy in the U.S. at about 79, the pure, simple arithmetic puts middle age at 39.5. Culturally, we don’t think of middle age as 40. In fact, we call ourselves “middle-aged” much longer than the math supports.

With 79 as the average life expectancy, the seasons go something like this:

0–20 years old – Spring

20–40 years old – Summer

40–60 years old – Autumn

60–death – Winter

The winter of life may end up being three weeks or three decades, but it is the final season.

All of this leads me to a term I learned recently: mortality salience. It’s a term that comes out of the Terror Management Theory and is attributed to Jeff Greenberg, Sheldon Solomon, and Tom Pyszczynski. It’s when, for some reason, death becomes less abstract and more personal. Incidents that might stimulate mortality salience include: a milestone birthday, a diagnosis, and the death of someone in your circle.

Mortality salience tends to amplify a person’s beliefs or biases. If someone is rigid to begin with, it might make them more so. If someone is open and reflective, they may become more intentional because of it. It might also help someone prioritize relationships, clarify and live their values, engage in legacy-building, or face the challenges and decisions they have been avoiding. Conversations that start from a point of mortality salience can be excellent for end-of-life planning and preparation.

My mother died at age 63. This fact, along with entering what is undeniably my fourth and final season, is leaving me with a keen sense of mortality salience. I am thinking about my own death more than usual. And let’s face it, that’s a lot. I work in the end-of-life space, so it’s practically my baseline. I think about death more than most, and now it’s heightened for me. I expect it will continue for the next few years. There are many reasons I don’t think I will die as young as my mother did, but with her death, age is getting closer, and its proximity is intensifying things for me.

Which season are you in? Have you had thoughts and experiences regarding the death age of your same-sex parent (e.g., mother-daughter, father-son)?